During my pregnancy I was in a hole so deep I didn't think I'd ever get out. Everyone always talks about post natal depression but no one ever mentions pre natal depression. I had never even heard of it and didn't know I was suffering from it until after I'd had the baby.
Once that baby came out everything changed. It was like my head was replaced. I started smiling again and I haven't stopped since the first time I saw his little body, across the room, with a tiny oxygen mask and doctors around him. I could hear him, his tiny little voice and it was like hearing heaven. I wanted to hold him but because I had lost so much blood it was a while before they put him on my chest. After the birth was such a blur, but I will never forget when I first held him and looked into his eyes. It was literally the happiest moment of my entire life.
We stayed in hospital for 5 days after the baby was born. I am so glad that I wasn't rushed home as most new mothers are. The midwives and maternity support workers were amazing and helped me so much. I don't think I would have got the hang of breast feeding without them being on call 24/7. And it was so reassuring to have professionals around when things were happening to my body which I was unsure of, like the blood clots you can get. They can look very scary, and it was a relief to be told that everything was normal. The most shocking part was when my milk came in. I woke up at 4am to go to the toilet and I was wearing a onesie. As I unzipped it I thought I was dreaming. My boobs had swollen up to the size of Jordan's. They were so hard like stiff rubber. When I tried to lay back down it was so painful. I honestly thought they were going to explode. After a day of warm showers and breast pumps they went down.
I will never forget walking out of the hospital when I took my baby home. I felt so strong and powerful. I was a completely different person to the one who had waddled in, uncomfortable and exhausted, 10 days before.
The first month has been beautiful. All I have wanted to do is lay and stare at my beautiful baby.
What to expect:
My baby wakes up every 3 - 4 hours. When he does I change his nappy, feed him, cuddle him, burp him and enjoy watching his changing expressions and little noises. After he has been awake for around an hour I hold him close to me and read, watch TV or browse the Internet until he falls asleep.
My advice for the first month:
1: If you have had a traumatic pregnancy, now is the time to relax and forget the rest of the world - stay in bed.
2: When you do need to venture out to get nappies or food or do your washing, have a relaxing bath and a little pamper before hand. Theres nothing better than having your iPod blasting walking along feeling confident with a pram in your hand! Also, babies love being in motion as it reminds them of being in the womb.
3: Don't listen to anyone else. Having a baby is the most natural thing in the world and don't let anyone ruin that or take that away from you. Do what you feel is right, it is your baby, not anyone else's, and enjoy him as much as possible.
4: Do breast feed if you can. I have expressed my milk and fed him from a bottle when I am too tired to breast feed but I find that when I do this its very hard to get him back to sleep. This is because breast feeding your baby will tire him out, he will fall asleep a lot easier as he has to work harder in order to get the milk out.
5: Make a Pinterest inspired picture. Baby's grow so quick, I notice my baby's face changing a little bit each day. While browsing Pinterest I noticed many people had been creating photography of their babies month by month. I think these pictures are a great idea as when you put them all together after 12 months it can be amazing to see how quickly your baby has grown. You can buy little vests with 1 month, 2 months etc on or write on a black board with your baby in front, but my favourite was using a ribbon badge for each month. A post on how I made the ribbon badge and created the photo above will soon follow.
S x
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